The First Day of Forever
Last week my son started Kindergarten.
It was really hard for me. I didn’t think it would be; I thought I’d be excited to have more time without him running around. Turns out I have lots of insecurities about in public school:
“Dad Q? Does he need a brand new lunch box? Do you think anyone will make fun of him?!”
“I’m sure it’ll be fine.“
“What about a backpack? Does he need a new one?“
“And what if he wears his cowboy boots to school every day and they make fun of him?!”
“Um, I think you’re projecting.“
He’s right. After one week of school, Boy Q says it’s ‘awesome.’ He already has a friend, three rows of monkey stickers, and not a worry in the world.
I’m the one who’s worrying: “What if his snack isn’t healthy enough?” “What if his teacher doesn’t actually like me?” “Can we walk up to pick him up or do we always have to stay in the carpool lane?!”
In many ways, I feel like I’m not ready for him to start school. I cried when we informally met the teacher. I cried in the parking lot after our first official “drop-off”. I’m trying to be brave, I am, but I’m not ready. Kindergarten is the first in several years of school and then, suddenly, he’ll be graduating, leaving, growing up…
I think about how brave he is every time we drop him off. He likes to head into things with confidence, even if he’s not feeling very confident. He squares his shoulders, steps into the waiting throng of students and staff, and dives in without looking back. All I can do is try to be brave too. Also posted at Boy Q and Girl Q.